Tomorrow's Wishes

My youngest daughter has been absolutely captivated by Michael Jackson lately. Actually, it's been close to a year now. She goes around the house singing his songs, showing us videos on You Tube, getting up from the dinner table only to show us her latest Michael Jackson move. I caught her behind me on the bleachers at one of our older daughter's Lacrosse games trying out some moves from his Smooth Criminal video; it was very entertaining. She is constantly searching on line for new songs, wall papers and pictures of Michael for her tablet, writing down lyrics, you name it, she truly is obsessed.


At first I just thought, "Oh how cute." I always felt like she was born in the wrong era. I know and I happen to really like the 80's, so when she started singing Michael Jackson songs, heck who doesn't like Thriller? Epic! I'd even sing along. (Yep signing is NOT in my future, but dang we sounded good in the bathroom!)

Then she started asking questions like...

"Mom, why did so many people make fun of Michael Jackson?"

"Mom, I know that he changed how he looked, a lot, but why do people care?"

"Mom, why aren't more people like Michael Jackson?"

One day while she was taking a bath and singing the lyrics to Man in the Mirror, well more like belting them out, in the bathtub (singing...NOT in her future either), I was at the mirror drying my hair; and it hit me... Why aren't more people like Michael Jackson?

I mean sure, he had his weirdness factor going there for awhile and yes, his baby handling skills might have been in question when he held that child over the balcony. But heck, my husband dropped our son when he was a baby and well, come to think of it I may have dumped our oldest daughter out of her car seat once, OK maybe twice (sorry kids!), so none of us are perfect.

To be quite honest...who the heck are we to judge? The man made awesome music, he could dance like no other, seemed to be a caring man and his music made an impact on so many lives. He is music royalty for crying out loud! So what if he was eccentric. Why does everyone have to focus on the negative. I mean Tessa had been reading up on him (extensively) and she didn't care, she liked his music and the way it made her feel, she enjoys it. She focused on the positive. Everyone has some good in them right?

My daughter left the bathroom to go get dressed and I stood in the mirror staring at my reflection. I started mouthing the words and before long I was signing it out loud.



I bounced out of the bathroom and down the hall into my daughter's room. As I entered I tried out my best Michael moves. Once the laughter subsided...I told Tessa how proud I was of her and then tucked her in and gave her a kiss. She looked at me and asked why. And I simply said, "You have a good heart sweetie and I love you." She smiled really big and said, "And I got moves like Michael Jackson." laughing, "yes, yes you do, good night." I walked downstairs, sat on the couch and just stared at the TV. I kept thinking, bottom line, we all want to see the good in the world, but we also need to be the good in the world.

Just like this famous (and slightly over used) quote...

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi

I think we often go through life just worrying about our own jobs, where the kids need to be, what's for dinner. We walk past people everyday with our nose to the ground, and some with their noses in the air; saying things like "Oh my gosh did you see that person?" or "Did you hear what they said?"

We are all too busy, consumed with our daily tasks and quite frankly a little to concerned with what everyone else is doing (not in a good way), and trying to keep up with the neighbors or one up them. But what if we looked up just a little more often? Or brought our nose out of the clouds to take notice of other human beings beside the ones we are directly responsible for. Because in reality we are all in this together and we are only as strong as our weakest link. What if we just took the time to get to know people?

I drove past this older gentleman almost everyday on my way home. He would be out walking his dog, sometimes alone, other times with another older gentleman. I would wave and he would always wave back. He seemed like such a nice man. Sometimes if we had one of my kids friends in the car they would say "I don't know, he's kind of creepy." "No," I would say, "he looks like a nice man." and "One day I am just going to stop and say hello to him." I said it so often that my youngest even said to me, "Mom, you always say that." So, one day I pulled my car over in the middle of the street, got out and introduced myself.

I was so glad that I did. Now when I see him on the street, his smile is brighter and so is mine, because we made a connection. He knows my name and I know his. We are not strangers anymore. A simple gesture and it made a world of difference. And to me, that is what it is all about, just taking the time to get to know people. Had I not stopped, I would never had known that he adopted that adorable black lab from a rescue shelter or that his Dr. told him he needed to walk more so that's why he is out everyday or that he knew some of the neighbors on my street. Or that he was indeed, a nice man.

Sure, it is easier to ignore and just keep going and hard sometimes to make an effort; but what if we took the time to notice those around us more, to not judge so much, to not be so protective of our own feelings, to stop worrying about what others would think? Peer pressure can be a real buzz kill can't it? And usually it is the one that cares, that has a voice, that speaks up, or speaks for someone that doesn't have a voice...that usually gets hurt. Kudos to those awesome people that keep speaking up. Don't stop!

What if we took a look in the mirror and decided, that today, we we going to be one that would speak for those that cannot, make the first move to say hello, pause for a second to notice, or simply...make a change? What if someone else did that as well...and another...and another...imagine what all we could accomplish and change in our neighborhood, our community, our world.

Even if it is holding the door open for someone, saving a seat on the bus for the person that no one ever wants to sit by, saying hello and taking time to get to know that person you always see, bringing food to the local pantry and not waiting for a food drive to take notice. Don't you think that people are going hungry everyday? It doesn't have to be an Earth-shattering thing, baby steps, but steps none the less.

Each of us is unique in our own way. We are like a clover, some have three leaves, some are lucky enough to have four, and some might even have five...does that make them imperfect? No it makes each clover a unique creation and each beautiful in it's own way. And yes, clovers are beautiful.



As it is in life; we are all different, have unique qualities, quirks and imperfections. But He made us and we are all in His image so we are all beautiful, both inside and out, we all have potential and we all deserve to be treated well.

Perhaps we wouldn't have to put on our armor and protect ourselves from the world if we all learned to care for one another. OK not the case for this big juicy caterpillar, I know, he would for sure get eaten.


I also know that from time to time when the situation calls for it we do have to have a guard up or need to put on our theoretical armor. I am not saying be stupid, just be a bit more vulnerable and open to other people and their feelings. Don't go along with the crowd because you are afraid to stand on your own or worried about what others would say or think of you. Stand up for the person that has no voice, be their voice.

I am a people watcher, I love to sit back and just watch how people interact or expressions on their faces, how they treat other people...and often when I see someone lash out or say something inappropriate or in some cases awful to someone else, I speak up. Ask my kids, the "Mama Bear" comes out, especially when it comes to my own, but also for others. But in people watching, I've noticed something, if you look really close...I mean really look at that person, the one who is being the "bully" I would dare to say that most of the time, they didn't mean what they said, it is a front. They are hurting and they lash out.

Now, believe me, I cannot tolerate bullies, my son was bullied in middle school and I still think back to those days and get angry. But the more I look at that situation and the older I get, I realized they probably don't want to be bullies. When someone is mean to my kids I always tell them that while it isn't right, we have to realize that they are lacking something in their lives and that is why they do what they do.

It's kind of like that line in the movie Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts (Vivian) and Richard Gere (Edward Lewis) are lying in bed and they are having a moment....It goes something like this...

Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: the bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?

Now perhaps not the best example, I know, she was a prostitute in this movie, but she was a good person. and that is my point, when you are bullied, put down enough, made fun of, not had the best of lives so far, whatever...you start to believe it yourself. You lose your self esteem. Not everyone has enough in them to pull themselves up by the boot straps and move on. Sometimes they become bullies, go down the wrong path, lash out at others to hide what they are feeling, become criminals. Other times, you hear of wonderful stories of how someone over came something in their lives and turned it around for good. I love those stories, don't you?!

This blog post isn't about Michael Jackson, bullying, self esteem or having a positive attitude...well maybe it is, but it's also simply about...doing the right thing. Looking in the mirror and telling the person looking back at you, that YOU are going to make a change.

A friend of mine forwarded me this link. They are two amazing boys that give true meaning to the old saying; "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Check it out...if only we could all be this brave. Click on the picture. (And have a tissue handy)


To all those bullies out there...you will not win.
To all those being bullied...don't give up, you are worth it and you will over come this.
To all those who feel a bit down...remember, you are beautiful both inside and out.
To all of those pointing fingers...start pointing them at yourself.
To all of you who want to make a difference in this world...look in the mirror and make that change.

To my man in the mirror...Let's do this!