Over the the last few years, I have watched as our little girl's Halloween choices have changed.
To a not too scary witch, with purple hair of course.
To a little girl who pretended she lost her eye ball while trick or treating. Yes, all the candy and she went for the fake eye ball. She said it was better than the candy.
Which brings me to the reason for this blog post, last year's costume. But first let me just tell you about my little Tessa. She is a loving, caring, be friends with anyone little girl who has always embraced life with a wonderful outlook. She tends to be a home body at times, and I won't lie, I love that about her, more hugs for me. But what I love most about her, is that she doesn't care what other people think. Not in a bad way, but in a good way. She is a leader not a follower and she loves to be an individual.
So as Halloween quickly approaches and she starts talking about what she wants to be this year (we are still up in the air...the Thriller Michael Jackson (because he's scary in that video), to a skeleton or maybe a hippie, but not just any hippie we will most likely have a twist on it.) I can't wait to see what she decides on.
I am also reminded about our experience last year at Halloween. I am reminded of one very important lesson that I was taught and I would like to share it with you.
Tessa really got into it. Although I could not get her to smile, because, of course, "Um mom, zombie's don't smile, duh!" My bad, sorry!
She has gone from a cute little kitten...
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| OK yes that might be a fake bug in her hand and she may be trying to scare her friends |
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| Ya gotta love the jack o lantern teeth! |
So as Halloween quickly approaches and she starts talking about what she wants to be this year (we are still up in the air...the Thriller Michael Jackson (because he's scary in that video), to a skeleton or maybe a hippie, but not just any hippie we will most likely have a twist on it.) I can't wait to see what she decides on.
I am also reminded about our experience last year at Halloween. I am reminded of one very important lesson that I was taught and I would like to share it with you.
It is quite simple really, let them embrace their individuality! They will be OK not going along with what everyone else is doing...trust me on this!
Tessa was taking a dance class last year. Now I will admit, it has been a pretty long time since I was in dance class. And, I will also admit that I am not one of those mom's that takes the classes very seriously, I mean they are like 6 and 7 right? We just do it for fun. I am not looking to raise the next Ginger Rogers.
Quite frankly it makes me laugh and shake my head at the mom's that have their kids in all of those classes. It is not like they are all going to grow up to be big stars. The chances of that are pretty slim. And I bet if you asked a lot of those kids, they would much rather be outside playing and not having to run from school to dance class every night. I honestly believe a lot of those women are trying to live through their kids.
The moms all sit around and try and one up each other on what their kids are involved in. Why not watch your kid in class, isn't that why you are there? Guess not. They did entertain me as I watched Tessa, kind of like having a comedian playing in the background. Every once in a while I giggle out loud and they would stop talking and glare at me.
I guess I have always been a big believer in letting them just be kids. I am not one of those stage moms. And oh wow, I did just say all of that out loud. Please don't send hate mail.
So anyway, off of my little soap box there...
They handed out a flyer after class, they were going to have a Halloween party. Tessa was so excited. On the way home all she could talk about was what she wanted to be. And I kept asking, are you sure? Tessa wanted to be a zombie bride.
Yes I did say zombie bride. And yes she was only 7. However, in my defense, not all little girls want to be a princess or a winged fairy for Halloween. Some of us really get into the idea of Halloween and like to dress up, well, yes scary. Isn't that part of the idea? I remember going to haunted houses in the neighborhood as a kid and loved being scared. And...there are are still some brave souls out there that embrace the theme.
I will admit that I did second guess her when she announced what she wanted to be. But once I realized her mind was set, who was I to try and change it. She was embracing her individuality and I loved the idea! So when she asked me to make her a zombie bride costume, I said "Sure! Let's do it!"
To be honest, I loved the idea of making a costume for her. When I was a kid we often had home made costumes. The year I was a hobo was one of my favorite trick or treating memories, not the year I had the store bought mask.
We did try looking to buy something to get us started, even just a zombie costume we could add to, But Tessa said they just weren't what she wanted. We couldn't find a good zombie bride anywhere. So we came up with our own.
We started with an old beaded dress we found in my closet. It still had the tags on it and I know why, it was hideous! Must have been one of those great finds um about 10 years ago! I added some off white tulle to give it that old look and put some tears into it to rough it up and make it zombie bride worthy.
Tessa had the picture of her costume in her head and explained to me that she wanted a torn dress that was big and full. Done! So I made a l and she loved it.
Now we just needed some accessories! So we went to the mall. We quickly found a cool black and silvery long hair wig that was perfect! But what's a zombie bride without a bouquet right? We found the perfect one at the Disney store. It was a set, bouquet and veil. Perfect!
I wish I would have recorded the look on the clerks face when we were checking out. She said, "Oh I see someone is going to be a princess bride for Halloween." and Tessa said, in a disgusted voice "Uh nooooo!" then beamed a bright smile and said , "A zombie bride!" the poor girl was left speechless. I guess that should have been my first clue. But I tend to learn from repetition at times.
We finished off the costume by adding some netting over the bouquet and a nice big honking spider of course. Then purchased some face make up since Tessa wanted to look like a real zombie.
It started off like this...
But Tessa slowly transformed it...
Into this...
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| Tessa in her zombie pose |
We were ready! Dance class Halloween party here we come! But before we leave, we had to take some pictures. The photo shoot we had at the house before class was so much fun.
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| The neighbors even came out to watch her |
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| She was really in character |
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| Hmmm has she been watching zombie movies after we go to bed? |
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| I love this one, she looked so eerie walking across the lawn. She even started dragging her foot at one point. Priceless! |
Well, photo shoot done! Let's head to class.
Now, in my defense, I did call up to her dance studio prior. I told the woman who answered the phone that Tessa was going to be a zombie bride which she replied "Oh that sounds cool!" I then asked if they were allowing the girls to wear make up, which she replied "Oh of course!" I mistakenly assumed when I said "Are you sure, because it is kind of scary?" and she replied "Oh we love make up here!" that we were on the same page. So when Tessa said "More blood mommy, add more blood!"...I did!
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| Tessa helped put on the make up - I think she did a great job. |
Well, we arrived at the dance studio. I realized fairly quickly I might add, that we were indeed so many pages off.
I have never felt worse for Tessa then I did as we walked into that dance studio and a hush fell upon the entire room. As Tessa and I walked past each scantily clad fairy, princess, peter pan and angel it became blatantly apparent that there was a difference of opinion as to what Halloween meant to them. Or for that matter scary makeup. I felt awful for Tessa, but when I looked down at her she was smiling.
Kids were staring and whispering and worse, parents, so much for being an adult. I could never have acted as some of those moms did that day. They should be ashamed of themselves.
At first Tessa didn't notice, but when the lady at the front desk turned around and shrieked "Ohhh you meant that type of makeup. Oh well, um, doesn't she look, well just scary. What a great costume." I realized I might have made a bad decision letting Tessa dress up like this for class and Tessa started to realize that not everyone was going to get her costume, actually, no one was going to get her costume.
As I walked past I gave the lady at the desk my best, oh yes we are coming in dressed like this grin, nodded and kept on walking. I put my arm around Tessa and thought, we will NOT turn and run.
We were getting a lot of attention, whispers and stares and I wasn't sure how it was going to go. I looked at Tessa and asked if she wanted to leave or change? That was a mistake I realize now, I shouldn't have said that, it was as if I was questioning my child. Tessa said no I want to go, so I smiled the biggest smile I could and we went with it.
I wish I would have taped the dance class, it was as if there was this invisible bubble around Tessa and no one could come near her. I mean, I guess it was easier for me to see her dance that day. I had a clear view almost the entire class.
When they came in to take a class picture at the end, Tessa was nonchalantly escorted to the back of the group for the photo. I mean she did stick out like, well a zombie bride in a room full of princesses, but in my opinion she was the best dressed one there, playing her part like it was supposed to be played. When they said smile, she did a zombie pose! I loved it! I was never more proud of her. She was an individual and I was never more proud of her then at that moment. I loved her so much for embracing what she wanted and not caving to the masses!
As the door opened and they let the girls out of class the stares continued, Tessa walked up to me and at first I thought she was going to cry, she had this quizzical look on her face. She looked up at me, I looked at her little zombie face and she smiled. I leaned my head down and asked if she was OK, still fully expecting tears to come or for her to say, mom can we go home. But instead she whispered. "I don't think they get it Mommy." I wanted to cry. I leaned down and whispered back "To bad for them. You look awesome!" to this Tessa replied, "I do, don't I!" and gave me her best zombie impersonation as we walked, er zombie walked out the door together and laughed all the way to the parking lot!
It wasn't long after that Tessa decided dance class just wasn't her thing. She does love to dance, but she does it on her terms. What is that saying...dance like no one is watching...she does! And I love it!
I learned a very important lesson that day. And no, it is not don't let your daughter go to dance class dressed like a zombie, although I really don't recommend it. But instead I learned that embracing ones individuality early on makes for a much stronger person. Tessa is not afraid to be different, to dance to her own song, and I think a lot of us could learn from how she handled herself that day.
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| And I might add we found the perfect place for her zombie bride costume... Boo at the Zoo! She did smile for this one! |
in·di·vid·u·al·i·ty
noun
- 1.the quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind, esp. when strongly marked.
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